Emotions can sometimes rise quickly and be felt like a powerful wave in the body and mind. In those moments, the pressure to “calm down immediately” can create additional stress, so it may be more supportive to first notice what’s happening and gently make space for yourself. Emotion regulation steps in right at this point: it is a set of skills that helps you build a more manageable relationship with the emotion, without ignoring it.
What does emotion regulation mean?
Emotion regulation does not mean suppressing what we feel or constantly “feeling good.” Rather, it is about being able to name the emotion, lower its intensity a little, and see our needs more clearly. For some people, this looks like pausing in a moment of anger and choosing a less hurtful sentence; for others, it looks like relaxing the body as anxiety rises and being able to continue the day.
The effects of intense emotions on the body
Some intense emotions are connected to the body’s alarm system kicking in. Reactions such as a faster heartbeat, tight breathing, and tense muscles can feel as if they carry the message “there is danger.” Even if this picture does not always mean a real threat, because the body’s reaction is real, brief physical interventions can help reduce emotional intensity.
How does the 90-second calming approach work?
The idea of “90-second practices” aims less to promise that the emotion will completely end, and more to create small windows that can help you get through the peak of the wave more safely. Many people notice that when they take a short break and regulate the body, their thoughts also become a bit clearer. For this reason, 90 seconds can be a practical way of saying, “I’m giving myself a short chance.”
90-second practices: breathing, naming the emotion, and the five senses
The first 90-second practice focuses on slowing the breath. In a comfortable position, if possible relaxing your shoulders, you can try gently inhaling through the nose and exhaling over a longer period. Slightly lengthening the exhale (for example, releasing the breath more slowly) can help strengthen calming signals for some people; the goal is not to force it, but to soften the breath and find a rhythm.
The second practice is built on naming and locating the emotion. You can try saying a simple sentence to yourself like “Anxiety/anger/sadness is rising right now,” and then noticing where you feel it in the body. Choosing an area—such as tightness in the chest, a knot in the throat, or a contraction in the stomach—and simply observing it can help create a small distance from the emotion.
A third option is returning to the “here and now” through the five senses. For 90 seconds, you can try noticing one by one a few details you can see around you, the sounds you can hear, and the sensation of the surface you are touching. This approach can help soften the intensity a bit by bringing attention to what is concrete, without getting caught up in the mind’s tendency to generate and amplify scenarios.
Strengthening the practice with muscle relaxation, micro-compassion, and setting an intention
The fourth practice is a short cycle focused on muscle relaxation. Small movements can be tried, such as clenching your fists for a few seconds and releasing, lifting your shoulders toward your ears and letting them drop, or noticing the jaw and releasing it. Briefly tensing the muscles and then letting go can help reduce physical tension and lighten the load of the emotion for some people.
The fifth practice is to use “micro-compassion” sentences toward yourself. You might choose a phrase like “I’m struggling right now and that’s understandable” or “This emotion is intense, but it can feel like a temporary wave.” Such sentences can help normalize the emotion without minimizing it, while also helping slow the cycle of self-criticism.
The sixth practice is the step of pausing and setting an intention. For 90 seconds, you can consider the question, “What is the smallest good thing I can do right now?” and choose a single next step. Tiny moves like drinking a glass of water, opening a window, going for a short walk, or leaving a message in drafts instead of sending it immediately can help reduce the extent to which the emotion drives your behavior.
To make these short practices more effective, it can be helpful to rehearse them during the day rather than waiting for a crisis moment. For example, doing a 90-second breathing or sensory-focus exercise once a day supports recalling this skill more easily in intense moments. Also, observing which practice works better for which emotion can allow you to build a personal “calming repertoire.”
Still, sometimes emotional intensity rises very high and practices on your own may not feel sufficient. In such cases, reaching out to someone you trust, changing the environment, resting briefly, or exploring professional support options can be a good step. Emotion regulation can be thought of as a process strengthened not by a single technique, but by the habit of getting to know yourself and taking your needs seriously.
In summary, emotion regulation is a set of skills that helps make intense feelings manageable without suppressing them. 90-second practices can support this process by offering a small pause and helping you regroup your body and attention. Over time, as you experiment, your chances of developing calmer and more balanced responses may increase as you discover which method suits you best.
